You Seen Me Take My First Breath
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When God gave me you, I understood the truthful ability of alter.
For nine months my trunk grew and stretched. I folded my favorite jeans and placed them in the cupboard. Hopeful for the day nosotros would reunite, mayhap with a cute top and heels, and your father by my side at our favorite restaurant. For days, weeks, and months after your arrival, I poked, sighed, nudged, and tucked extra peel. I cursed stretch marks as I reminisced of the trunk that utilise to stare back in the mirror at me.
When God gave me you I learned what "love at showtime sight" truly meant.
The thought of girl meets boy, their eyes lock, hearts patter faster, and of a sudden a divine intervention brings them standing face up-to-face. Well, my dear child, that visual is made for the movies, because "beloved at first sight" is reserved for a parent and child. In fact, our dearest was created in a miraculous moment. The moment when y'all took your outset breath and I lost mine staring at you. It occurred the instant they placed you in my arms. You never felt like a stranger, but instead a missing piece in our earth.
When God gave me you, I experienced the magic of two a.grand.
With burnout racing through my mind and veins, your piercing cry would jolt me upright and to your side. In the quietness of the night, it was just you and me, babe.
Even when it felt incommunicable for my weary body to function, there was pure magic every bit I fed and rocked you in those 2 a.yard. feedings. Something almost the darkness and silence that brought out a beautiful peacefulness, and a non-verbal connection between us two.
When God gave me y'all I became more patient and agreement.
There were moments of frustration, and times when the days and nights felt and then long. Every bit you grew at that place were seasons of change, and the things that stressed me earlier were suddenly replaced by new worries and challenges that needed to be faced. Most days, my patience was tested. I gritted my teeth and excused myself to my bedroom for my own time-out. I learned to extend grace to y'all and myself every bit we tackled every new endeavor.
When God gave me you I loved my own momma more than.
Yes, your grandma became more special in my book, likewise. All of a sudden I realized the magnitude of the transformation from woman to mom. The love and appreciation I had for my ain mom grew with you. The reality is I never knew the work, stress, worry, and challenges my own mom went through until I became a mom myself. Looking at yous, I could finally meet the love she had given to me all these years, and every cede she made in between.
When God gave me y'all I realized my own strength.
I endured intense pain during those early morning hours when my contractions intensified. My heart bankrupt into tiny pieces watching kids ignore yous for the first time on the playground. But through it all, I realized your force starts with me. I bend and break thousands of times quietly in an endeavor to keep you condom and secure. On the days when I feel cleaved, I await at you and know my force is derived from the intense love I have for y'all.
When God gave me you I plant myself.
I idea I knew myself. I thought I knew who I was in this globe. No, my dearest child, I never flourished in this life until God gave me yous. I never realized my ain attributes to this world until I held, cared for, and loved you. There was so much to learn and oh so much more to gain from the gift a existence a mom. When people talk nigh their legacy and their piece of work on this Earth, I always searched high and low. But at present, I look at y'all and realize if mine is only you, well, and then God knew exactly what He was doing when He gave me you.
Originally published on the writer's blog
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God Sees You, Middle of the Night Mama
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